awesome & awkward

[studying with the last supper]

awesome:

• with season two starting up this weekend, i have to give a shout out to red table talk. for those who don't know, it's jada pinkett smith, willow smith, and jada's mom, adrienne banfield-norris, who get together and talk about anything and everything. there are so many real, raw moments that have made me reflect on my experiences and how they have impacted who i am. plus, seeing the connection and open communication with each other in talking about such vulnerable subjects is impressive.
• my favorite podcast right now? the black girl bravado. it's like listening to two of my friends talk in my living room about real issues that impact women. they talk about a lot of topics that are relevant like the glo' up, taking care of your mental health, enjoying the journey, self-worth and enforcing boundaries, the difference between being lonely and enjoying solitude, and overcoming imposter syndrome. 
• those days that make you feel full and happy. my most recent one was: rescuing an adorable kitten trapped on our shed, a soulful conversation over ice cream with one of my absolute favorites, taking a walk with T and the pups to the fish market, enjoying mojitos in the sunshine, an impromptu shrimp boil, and finishing up with baking a banana cream pie.   

awkward:

• to stop solo from chewing on couch pillows, we have gotten him multiple plush bb-8s to play with. they are a similar texture as the pillow so it seemed like a win. not too long ago, solo gave me a heart attack after work because i opened the door to see stuffing all over the place in our house. i nearly lost it thinking he tore up all the pillows and/or couch until i saw a very deflated bb-8 laying on the floor next to him. phew!

[a delicious new find]

[happy hour]

[shrimp boil]

happy

earlier this week, while waiting at the doctor's office, i had a chance encounter with another person waiting to be seen. i don't normally talk to people in the waiting room, but the person was being seen at my doctor's office for the first time and was a little nervous. this led us to stumbling onto the subject of finding your passion in life. the woman i was talking to referenced someone close to them having a life-threatening illness which led them to change their life's direction. i've always found it interesting what people decide to do when faced with such a difficult instance. the woman pointed out how she found it most interesting how people don't do what they truly want with their life until faced with such circumstances. this includes working at jobs you hate, being with or surrounding yourself with people you do not care for, etc. 

she then went on to tell me about how she was the manager of her department at a job that was okay but left her feeling unfulfilled. she often had to do tasks she didn't agree with and made her feel internally conflicted. she finally quit her successful job to find a job that has given her a sense of satisfaction and completion. she stated it was worth leaving because she was doing work that meant something to her. she didn't want to live her life working towards a future all the while making herself unhappy. life-threatening illness shouldn't be the impetus to live a happier life or at least a life that you actually choose. 

what she said really resonated with me. i have worked at several jobs that i could not stand to go to everyday i was there...and the weirdest part is that i was surrounded by people who hated it just as much as i did. but they had no interest in leaving or finding anything that could make them happy. each move i made was to help get me closer to finding something that would make me happy or, at the very least, satisfied. i even think the same about my relationships. ex-boyfriends and dates that flopped, blew up, or fizzled. it was hard making each change and move, but all for the best to making myself a happier me. we should keep pushing forward and keep choosing things and people that fill ourselves and lives with what makes us truly happy. because, let's face it, the future isn't promised either, so why not be happier now? why wait for a difficult reminder to signal us to choose happiness? just a thought and a kind reminder from a waiting room stranger :)

awesome & awkward

[this photo makes me really happy]

awesome:

• not too long ago, T joined me on the grad school train! i'm so, so proud of and excited for him. while we may be in differing programs, i have to say, i've got the cutest study buddy around :)
• if you haven't listened to jonathan van ness' getting curious podcast, please do yourself a favor and add it to your list. for those who don't know, each week, jvn will find an expert on a topic he is genuinely curious to know more about. he then spends that show asking any and all questions related to the topic to learn as much as he can. i feel like i walk away so much more knowledgeable on subjects i previously had little to no information on. i adore anything jvn does but i really love that he uses his platform to inform himself and others. 
• last weekend, i had the best blackberries i have ever had. i know that doesn't sound like much but, when you get your berries from the grocery store, you forget how delicious they originally are. note to self, when and where you can, always get a batch of berries from a local orchard. 

awkward:

• last friday, T and i had our nephew over to watch movies and we were having such a blast with him. at the end of the night, when we walked with him to the car, he suddenly turned to me and said, "why don't you have a baby in your belly?" ummm! i told him i didn't have one now but in the future that could happen. then, T chimed in to say we didn't have a baby yet and we were enjoying just focusing on him. T then said, "don't you like not having to share our attention with a baby?" our nephew quickly responded with, "no!" ...oh geez. 

[movie night with our nephew]

[my study buddy]

[celebrating the wins]

awesome & awkward

[sibling happy hour]

awesome: 

• about a month ago, T and i finally got to meet one of his oldest friend's' baby. it was such a treat to watch T's excitement about this new chapter in his friend's life. plus, of all the cutesy baby photos i've seen, i really love that T's friend goes for the goofy or awkward facial expressions to post. 
• i've never talked about my work life on the blog. it has been an intentional choice, but there was a great moment that happened completely by accident. not long ago, i brought in a new stress toy for people to use in meetings. after recommending it to one individual in particular, there's been a huge shift in how that person responds in stressful situations. it was such a great win and made me really happy that something so small made such a huge impact.
• so, i've talked about how solo watches tv occassionally, but we've recently started catching boba watching tv. funny thing is that he seems genuinely interested in watching for long periods of time (ears perked up, pensive expression, and focused eyes) whereas solo seems to be drawn by a lot of movement. boba's current favorite? brooklyn 99.  

awkward:

• during alton brown's interview on hot ones, he was asked about his experiences in the grocery store. aside from the obvious fans who ask him what they should purchase or try, alton moved onto a subject that made him more somber. he talked about his experiences when he sees some of the food choices other shoppers make with their grocery carts. when he sees what products shoppers have selected in their carts, it often makes him depressed and he will leave the store (cart left in the aisle) without purchasing his items. when asked why, alton said the choices people make with food that isn't nutritional, flavorful, or beneficial to the individual cause him to feel sad for grocery consumers. as a result, he commonly shops late at night where he is less likely to have issues. i found this not so much awkward, but interesting because i often have that exact conversation with T. now, i've never left my groceries, but i have become concerned, if not saddened, at some of the decisions i see. of course, we are all free to chose what we consume, but there are products that are not of any nutritional value and can cause harm. plus, there are always more ways to add flavor! take it what you will, but i found it interesting :) 

[chocolate break]

[red dirt rug]

[big stick house, little momma]

first third

[tasty donut misadventures]

may 1st marked the end of the first third of the year. isn't that wild to think about? i'd never thought about breaking apart the year this way until i came across a social media post that made me think about it. it may sound somewhat strange, but i actually like the concept. if you break up the year, you can actually take a moment to reflect on what occurred during that time...what went well, what didn't, how you may be doing on a certain goal you had in mind, etc. it's hard to completely remember these moments when you look back on their entire year. but, looking back months at a time can give you the ability to make changes and adjustments where needed. any difficulties experienced can become moments to reflect on growth and wins can be fully appreciated. 

personally, i'd set out to work on several aspects of myself with no specific end dates. some were simple, like my goal to drink more water (i'm at 120 ounces a day now), and others were more complex/would take more time, like my goal to practice more compassion with myself (slow, but steadily getting better). but, having the opportunity to look back on my progress in the last several months was really motivating. being able to reflect gives yourself a kind of personal check-in which can also help when it comes to difficult moments...they are simply that, a moment, and not the entirety of your year or life. 

what do y'all think about the thirds idea? i'd love to hear your thoughts!

[cute wedding date]

[breakfast tacos for out of town guests]

[dance, dance, dance off]

[surprisingly tasty new recipe]

[celebrating amanda's little one to be]

focus

have you ever thought about who you focus your energy towards? i'd seen several insta posts about the idea, but hadn't really taken to it until several months ago. i started to notice a bad habit of overextending myself in friendships that weren't reciprocal. i would consistently excuse it and never ask for the same courtesies in return...even though i was the one left feeling frustrated. so, i found myself at a crossroads - either continue to allow the pattern, or, change it. i decided to let go of my old habit and only spend my time and energies on relationships that were returned. life is far too short to waste time in friendships that are uneven. there is no reason to expend more of yourself to those who refuse to return effort. 

ever since taking a back step in that friendship, i felt a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. i no longer sit wondering about my status with that person or worry about coordinating everything in the relationship. so, for any of you who may have a friend that causes you to feel this way, take a step back and evaluate the level of input on both sides. if it's not equal or close to it, leave it be. set your focus on those that give equally in the relationship which will lead to a much more content you.

check in

whew! these past two weeks have been an intensely packed amount of work and school that, at times, made me wonder how i could get it all done. and then, suddenly (or at least it feels like it), i've come out on the other side still kicking and with my brain intact. without y'all being in the mix of the past two weeks of chaos that was going on, it was the perfect collision of exhaustion from all sides with no time to recharge. thankfully, i am past the worst of it and only have a little bit left to go before completing my first semester of grad school - what! 

because most of my time was jam packed with work and school, not too much else happened. but, i thought it would be fun to share what few moments kept me pushing through. enjoy!

[springtime tart]

[rainy mornings and all the dots]

[one of the best bar signs]

[breakfast for dinner]

[tree transport]

[cute concert date]

[blood orange margarita break]

[girls night and dancing]

[rest and relax]

[farewell boren]

[a certain salmon loving pup begging for a plate]

[finally!]

awesome & awkward

[cheers to mini reunions]

awesome (movie-themed):

• like so many i know, i loved the black panther movie. the soundtrack by kendrick lamar, the costumes, the hair, the character development and storyline...incredible. did anyone else tear up at killmonger's story? i cannot wait to see it again.
• T and i finally saw the latest jumanji movie and it has made my love for jack black triple. he killed it at playing a self-absorbed teenager obsessed with her phone. #yassqueen
• while i absolutely love wonder woman, after watching the justice league, i've become a huge fan of the flash. the character was hilarious, and i love his awkward commentary. 

awkward:

• a couple of weekends back, T and i were having dinner at m+j's and in the middle of conversation i took a bite out of a jalapeno popper. prior to the bite, michael stated he wasn't too sure these peppers would be hot at all. so, i took a big bite thinking i'd be safe...i could not have been more wrong. my eyes got huge, i started tearing up, and began chugging water before quickly switching to milk. it took awhile before i could easily talk and eat again. oops. 

[guinness stout cake with two icings]

[spiced up margies]

[gelato break]

awesome & awkward

[mother-daughter time]

awesome:

• on a quick trip back home, my parents and i wandered into a cute little local shop. while my dad visited with the shop owner, my mom and i couldn't contain our laughter over their hilarious greeting cards. we created quite the scene as the two of us were giggling so hard we were practically in tears. i secretly wanted to by their entire stock right then.
• last week, T and i started our day off by getting to see the super blue blood moon. it was such a cool experience which was made even better that we got to view it from inside our house! plus, can you believe the last occurrence was in 1866?
• occasionally i'll catch solo watching tv or movies for a few seconds, but can't ever figure out what he likes to see. that is until i watched how the grinch stole christmas - he couldn't turn away! i'm guessing it's all the movement and crazy sound effects jim carrey makes. 

awkward:

• a couple of weeks ago, we took boba to the vet for a problem with two nails that needed to be removed. when we brought our very drugged boy home, he could not have been more confused and lost. he even got stuck under the dining table (see pic below)...it was equal parts pathetic and adorable. thankfully, our grumpy boy is back to normal and can find his way from underneath tables :)
• on a recent flight back home, our flight attendant was going through the typical safety speech when he got to the portion about what to do with children. right then, he paused and said, "why??...just kidding" and continued on. i thought his sass was hilarious, but unfortunately no one else laughed. he later followed it up with, "alright folks, enjoy your flight...or don't". 

[hitting the skating rink for michael's birthday]

[the sweetest surprise delivery from one of my dearest friends]

[poor drugged boba stuck under the dining table]

[the cutest wounded pup]

awesome and awkward

[autumn picnics]

awesome:

• for those who are fans of matt bellassai's whine about it segment he had with buzzfeed, you'll want to give his most recent series a listen: to be honest. it is even more hilarious than whine about it. my personal favorites are: why teenagers are the worst, why malls are the worst, and why candy corn is the worst. it couldn't stop giggling at my desk while listening to it, and encourage anyone who needs a good laugh to give it a listen. 
• i've recently started listening to whitney a's podcast, reality, reality. the basic gist is of her podcast is that she will dish on the weekly gossip from her favorite real housewives of _ (insert city) while sipping a themed cocktail. it has become my latest guilty pleasure as i've been caught multiple times saying "omg!", and "no she did not!" around co-workers at the copy machine who didn't see my earbuds. 
• we are now one holiday down into holiday season, and not to sounds like everyone else, but this is my favorite time of the year! who else is getting excited for turkey day?

awkward:

• not long ago, i was busy working away at my desk on a project when i hit a mental roadblock. feeling stumped on how to remedy the roadblock, right at that moment, i heard a very audible, "whomp, whomp!". thinking i'd imagined it, i kept working until i heard the same sound again. "whomp, whomp!" then, a few minutes passed before i heard it again. it turned out my comically timed retort was none other than a bird hanging in a nearby tree. 
• one night i was prepping veggies for dinner, but felt like having a little snack. so i decided to munch on some chips and salsa. after awhile, i stopped looking where i was reaching and nearly mixed up a whole jalapeno with a chip. thankfully, i caught my mistake before i bit down on the pepper, but it was a close call!

[cozy dinners with dear friends]

[celebrating new life coming for one of T's oldest and dearest friends]

[late night coffee]

awesome and awkward

[patterned eye candy]

awesome:

• have you guys heard of the youtube channel binging with babish? well, have you ever watched a movie or tv show, and thought, oh my gosh, i wish i could eat that (aka me most of the time)? then this channel is for you. they tackle everything from the infamous goodfellas prison sauce to pulp fiction's big kahuna burger to bob's burgers' inventive creations. trust me when i say you'll wish you were one of the chef's neighbors who got to eat his treats after watching just one episode.
• last weekend, T found a way to kick up our bike gang romps to the next level...by bringing our bluetooth speaker to blast classic 80s jams. we had such a blast riding around town singing along to several favorites like "don't you (forget about me)", and "down under". 
• tomorrow, i'll get to try out my first barre class at udander. truthfully, i'm a little nervous about it since i've heard barre is pretty intense. but i do love switching it up, so i'm feeling game for the challenge. i mean, it can't be worse than hot yoga, pilates, or free weights, right? at least i'll get a mini spa soak afterwards ;) 

awkward:

• several times this summer, i have had some windy dress problems. to the point that i may have to just start wearing shorts under every dress when there is even the slightest gust of wind. and i'm not saying just a small burst of wind. i'm talking dress goes all the way up to my midriff in a crowded area...you know, something you'd really wish wouldn't happen in a parking lot or a corn hole tournament. cue all the eye rolling emojis, ugh. 
• while out celebrating my brother's birthday with my family, we had been talking about spicy peppers and our friends' reactions. just after that moment, our food came out (last photo below) and i ate what i thought was a small tomato garnish from my dish. the moment my teeth bit the "tomato" in half, i realized i had made a huge mistake. it wasn't a tomato, but a small (very spicy) pepper! i spent the next 20 minutes eating tortillas and drinking water to help cool off my mouth. and it took a little over half that time before i could taste anything. oops.

[summertime lunching]

[learning more about the new deal]

[beware of the little peppers!]

[splash pad on a humid morning makes for a spooky sight]

[feijoada + caipirinha break]